Grudge Test

About this test

Grudges have a terrible reputation, and yet they always start with something legitimate: the memory of a real wrong. Keeping a record of what someone did to you is, first of all, protection — the mechanism that stops you handing the same person your keys twice. The problem isn't remembering. The problem is continuing to pay.

This test looks at three separate things, because they don't necessarily travel together. Memory of the offence: how long and how precisely you store it. The need for repair: what it takes for you to consider a debt settled — a gesture, an admission, or a price paid. And actual forgiveness: what you really do with the relationship afterwards, as opposed to what you say about it.

Sixteen very ordinary situations are enough to tell those levels apart: an apology that arrives too late, a face from ten years ago, an old story someone asks you to retell. The score doesn't say whether you're a hard person; it says where you've set the slider between protecting yourself and weighing yourself down.

How it works

Each answer is worth 0 to 4 points depending on whether it reflects a case quickly closed, a trace kept on file, or a debt deliberately left open. The total is scaled to 100: the higher it runs, the more room grudges occupy in your day-to-day.